BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE.
So unless you're an albino lesbian dwarf, or a Lithuanian Canasta addict with Rosacea, would y'all kindly STFU because I don't want to hear about it. Black...check. Woman...check. Mormon...check. Dumbass lawyer turned hack actor...check. Libertarian in moderates clothing with the supporters from hell...check. Dominionist in sheep's clothing who lost half his body weight, most of it from his brains...check. Womanizing moron supporting his mistress on the city's dime...check. We got Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, Donner and Blitzen, half the Partridge Family, three James Bonds and two of Liz Taylor's ex-husbands and we can't get ONE FUCKING HOMO??!!!
More after the jump (And I haven't been jumped in a loooong time--although I did go out on an honest-to-FSM date today, woo-hoooooo)...